Writer’s Block

    When I started this blog, I had so many desires to share what the Holy Spirit has been convicting me of and teaching me. I felt a longing to share what was on my heart because my longing to share it with others was met with the constraints of people being busy, or not being able to make time to talk with me. This has been my way of feeling heard, but lately, I have gone to write the many blogs I have been wanting to write. I get to a couple paragraphs and then start over. This does not seem like what God wants me to write. I have been struggling to pinpoint exactly what God has been doing in me lately. I also have struggled to pinpoint what he wants me to share. Here are a few things I am noticing though through this time of writer’s block (if you would call it that?). 

Deeper Call into Relationship

    When you read your Bible, what is your purpose? Is it the intellectual knowledge, the inspiration, or wanting to live by the rules? I think all three are good reasons to read the Bible, but we need to remember the key purpose of Bible reading is relationship. Our Christian walk involves a relationship with God and others. Are you reading scripture to deepen your relationship with God? Are you reading it to deepen your relationship with others? Do you let it change the way you view others or interact with others? Do you try to love others the way the Lord does? 

    Scripture allows us to grow in our knowledge of God which in turn should grow our relationship with God. The historical books of the Bible indicate many things about a relationship with God: he is faithful, he is true and he is here with us. There are probably many more truths that come from the historical books in scripture that can deeply enrich the relationship with have with Jesus, but these are what I can think of. The Israelite nation turned away from God, worshipped idols, went into exile, and did not keep the Lord's commands. Yet, the Lord had a promise for them through the line of David, a Messiah. He did not give up on them, and he won't give up on you. You may turn again and again to the same sin, but as a father who wants to help their child, you can turn back to him through repentance. Repentance is something that people seem to get defensive about. This could be because people associate wrongdoing with a lack of acceptance and love. However, repenting to God turns us from sin, not to a judgemental God, but to a loving God who just wants his child to return to him.

    The Poetry books allow us to see examples of people crying out to God. We can call out to God in praise, in lament, in sorrow, in thanksgiving, and in longing. Psalms can be prayed and sung out. Proverbs are truths that can convict the heart and bring us into nearness to the Lord which is more than just simple sayings of wisdom. Job allows us to see the reality of suffering, lament, and restoration where things aren't as they were before which can bring grief. However, the Lord can restore our situation. Ecclesiastes indicates the purpose of our lives beyond chasing after each pleasure which may leave us feeling empty, the purpose of a true relationship with the Lord. 

    The God of the Old Testament is a relational God? We see the messiness of battles, sin, and exile throughout the Old Testament, but I also see a God who stays faithful. He remains faithful in the prophetic books with the promise of a Messiah. God gave us a way to enter his presence that was very different in the Old Testament. 

    Now, the Gospels are where the New Covenant changed the way we relate to God. With Jesus, the fulfillment of the law, we enter by grace into a new relationship of being sanctified. God is relational through the Bible, and our access to him has increased beyond the Holies of Holies in the temple. When accepting Jesus, the Holy Spirit is so intimate, so much so that he dwells in us. 

    I have given a general overview in regards to the relational God we have throughout scripture, but I would encourage you to read the Bible relationally with God. Don't just read for knowledge, inspiration, or to be a "good enough" Christian. Read with the desire to be in a growing relationship with the Lord. God does not want the "good enough" Christian more than he wants the devoted Christian who sees their lowliness. Read knowing you are deeply loved beyond reading a certain number of passages. Dwell with God as you read. Pray to connect deeply with the Lord. 

Healing

    With the relationship we have with Jesus, we need to realize that healing is relational. Healing is not something that can be done alone. You can pray a prayer for healing for yourself and for others, but the biggest breakthrough in healing comes from having a continuous relationship with the Lord. Our desire for God and a relationship with him through the good and the bad is what brings us through. We may cope with stuff by turning to distractions, but we alone can't heal or fix ourselves. We are not the Lord of our own healing, Jehovah Rapha is the Lord of our healing. We also can't make someone heal, but we can point them to the one who heals. 

Deep and Wide

    I read this passage during chapel on Wednesday, and I think this describes exactly what has been happening lately. I have been sensing some shifts in my relationship with God, and these shifts are rather joyous than uncomfortable. The sense that something has been happening within my heart lately that has been beyond what I can comprehend is exactly how I have described it. I then read this passage in chapel yesterday, and I gained insight into the Lord and what he is doing.

Ephesians 3:16

I think something I often struggle with is carrying someone's log instead of bearing their burdens with them. I am very empathetic, but I feel like that has been hard at some points. I want to take responsibility for someone else's well-being, but I have realized lately that is not my responsibility. I can be there for them, but instead of taking it upon myself to be their savior, it is my responsibility to point them to the savior. I feel like in this way, the Lord has strengthened me even in my calling to be a counselor that as long as I make him the Lord of my practice, I can handle the heavy things that 

Ephesians 3:17-18

I believe this hit spot on how what God has been doing. I have been able to grasp how deep and wide and long and high his love is. During winter break, I was convicted because I realized both how much I reach for distraction as well as approval from others. I realized that the Holy Spirit who deeply loves me dwells within me; therefore, love is not something I need to reach for or earn like I have always felt the need to do in my life. With being a believer in the Lord, the Holy Spirit is within me; I am already deeply loved. It has been weeks since I have had the overly negative inner critic I have developed. I have struggled for years with lies and insecurities where now that inner critic that was so loud is becoming quieter as I turn my focus on the Lord.

Jesus loves you and is with you!