My Testimony!!!- God Has Lead Me Here

     

    I sometimes look around me just seeing the beauty of the world around me. I am so blessed to be here. The Lord has led me to where I am today: a college senior, double majoring, having finished the honors program at my university and going to a Christian University where I can be in a community with those who challenge me to grow in sometimes the most difficult of ways. I go on pond walks around campus just to see the beauty of the world God created. I go to work appreciating what I get to do. I dance in my room appreciating the freedom I get. I look back on my life, and even when applying to colleges, I never thought I would end up where I am today. 

    Much of God's plan of salvation for my life began before I was born. Yes, he sent Jesus to die for us on the cross which is ultimately the biggest thing he has done for all of us who believe. I also realize so much happened leading up to my birth set the course for how my life has turned out. If anything would have been different, I would have had a completely different life. I am blessed to know that my life down to the tiny details has lead to where I am now. My dad being in my life has actually been a big part of my protection and eventual salvation from a horrifically abusive situation. My dad was planning to move to Seattle before I was born, but then he found out my mom was pregnant with me and I was his. He got a DNA test to confirm it, and he stayed in Michigan. 

    When I was a ten-year-old, I was living in survival mode. I did not think my life would ever be as amazing as it is now. I remember thinking to myself when I was ten years old "When I am eighteen, I am going to escape". I wanted out, but I did not know what my life would look like past eighteen years old. I just knew that eighteen-year-olds were adults, and adults could have houses which meant I could get out. I remember in the deep pain I was in, I felt as if God was right with me protecting me, and I knew that one day I would get through it. I did not love the life I was living where I was constantly having to watch out for myself. I could not stop the horrors from happening to me no matter how hard I tried. 

    

    I could not see an end in sight when I lived in the situation I was in. It got so bad that I expressed having thoughts of ending my life. This was when my dad got me into counseling. What kept me going was knowing that the Lord would one day get me through all the abuse, and that there would be better days ahead. A few weeks after I had turned 11 years old, my whole life changed. I was removed from that situation, moving into my dad's house. I felt like my whole world was turned upside down, and my whole life was changed. I now had to navigate a life of healing, but not exactly knowing how to heal. It took years for me to figure out that I did not truly understand the impact of what I went through. 

    Now I was faced with a new era of life comprised of many challenges: middle school. Sixth grade was a unique experience of chickens, bird watching, camping, hours spent outside, and so many experiences that I remember enjoying so much. Seventh and eighth grade were both incredibly challenging years. Not only was I navigating the typical middle school challenges, but I was navigating through court. Court was a big part of my life, and the things that happened in court shaped how I viewed myself for years. Abuse was also a big thing that shaped how I viewed myself. When I was about 13 years old, I went on my first youth group retreat. I remember one night on the retreat seeing a girl slightly older than me with one of my youth leaders. I wanted to pray for the girl and encourage her. I was a little timid, but my youth leader encouraged me to come to sit with them. I ended up sharing my story of being saved. Later my youth leader told me that she could really see me working with kids and teens to help them. That was when I decided I wanted to become a counselor. Although middle school was incredibly difficult at some points, what kept me going was knowing that the Lord had a plan for my life. 

    High school was a pretty interesting experience. When I turned 15, I started becoming more serious about my faith. I would listen to worship songs all the time. I loved going to church. It was when I turned 17 that I really wanted to actually know Jesus. I felt like I knew stories of God because of Sunday School, but I wanted to really know who God was. March of 2020 was when Michigan went into lockdown for COVID. I was worried about what was going to happen with everythingl. Right before our SATs in my Junior year of high school, everything was canceled. I was worried not just about my Junior year of high school, but also my senior year. What would applying to college be like? Would I get my senior year events even though it was inevitable that the rest of Junior year was online? I had no idea what would happen, but I was reminded again and again to trust in the Lord. I started to read scriptures more and more as my extracurricular activities ceased due to COVID. 

    The summer before my senior year, I applied to Cornerstone thinking "There is no way I am going to this school". I applied to several other schools as well. I thought I would end up going to a public school because I had already attended public and charter schools growing up. I thought that private school would be too much financially. However, it came down to two Christian schools and 1 public school I was considering. Eventually, it came down between Cornerstone University and Central Michigan University (where I was waiting for a scholarship). I ended up choosing Cornerstone University after not receiving the scholarship. It was a great decision because I have gone through some challenges throughout college where I have needed a strong community.

    Where I am right now in my faith during the summer of before my Junior year of College is crazy compared to when I started college. I have experienced much spiritual warfare over the past two years which has only brought me closer to God. I am excited to share more about it later on! I am so blessed that God has lead me to where I am in my life. I have never really had a dream board or a 5-year plan, as much as I do have goals. I just look back always super amazed at where the Lord has brought me. 

UPDATE May 2024

       I can't believe it has been a year since I have started this blog. I hear of people reading this and being so blessed by the words and the insights I gain throughout my life. I decided today to rename the blog to Deeply Rooted as I feel like this is the type of relationship God calls us into. He desires for us to be deeply rooted in his truth. I realize that my life is an ongoing testimony of God's goodness. In this past year, I have been through some incredibly difficult things that really tested my faith. Jesus was so present through this year, and he definitely carried me through some difficult times. I continue through this journey, and being able to write this blog has been such a blessing in this journey. Looking forward, I am blessed with the opportunity to go to California and do Circuit Riders. I am beyond excited and can't wait to see what the Lord does in this next year. 

This is where the Lord has brought me, and I am just so blessed to be here. 

Psalm 16:11 (NIV): "You will make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasure at your right hand"