Fear of Missing Out in College

     It started back around my freshman orientation week. I kept hearing things along the lines of "get involved", "Do everything", or "get out there and don't just keep to yourself". Community was the big word that everyone was alluding to. I heard this so much, and I grew tired of hearing it. I took the advice though, and I later learned I took it to the extreme. I went out constantly from 8 am until 12 am (or later) every day at one point during my freshman year wanting to do everything. I did not want to miss out. Now, the advice I give freshmen is "Get involved, do what you can, but don't be afraid to stop and rest because rest is important". 

    I struggled so much with FOMO throughout my time in college. I struggled more so than I did any other time in my life. In elementary school, I stuck more to myself and did not have many friends. Things were complicated in middle school, and I did not mind spending time outside of school alone. In high school, I did extracurriculars and other things; I felt like I was involved and enjoyed it. However, in college, there were numerous events to attend and I honestly could not attend them all. I was also new not knowing many people, so I wanted to make friends. I also came to a point where there was wrestling and pain at the back of my mind, and I just wanted to avoid it. There was something that if I sat alone with it would bring me so much pain and sadness. 

    Every year, I have struggled with FOMO, and I believe I still will struggle with FOMO until... FOMO may never end. However, I believe that it has gotten better this year. I moved into the apartments, and I have had mixed emotions about it. I sometimes wish I could be back in the dorms honestly because I miss the time spent there. I love the apartments though because I do seem to have more of a space away from school. I don't bring my schoolwork into my bedroom, I keep it at my desk because my bedroom can be more a space of rest and relaxation. A couple weeks ago, I was worshipping and praying; I felt God say: "You are not missing out when you are in the presence of the living God". When God is in it, it is good and you don't have to fear missing out on something else. 

    I think back to the story of Exodus when the Israelites were complaining about wanting to go back to Egypt. In Exodus 16 when they were complaining about not having food, the Lord provided them with manna and quail. Here they felt they were missing out on the food that was in Egypt. In their hunger for that food, they turned to complaining. Being hangry is so real, and I am sure that they were really hungry not sure if or when they were going to eat. They were grumbling not realizing that their God was right with them. I have felt a hunger for something in my soul, and I could never fill that hunger fully with the things in this world. This hunger includes a longing that comes from pain, and that comes from a need to be loved and accepted. 

    I could never fill that hunger with the college events I went to as much as they were fun and I enjoyed them. They are memories that are beautiful and I am grateful I got the college experience. In my freshman year, I could not fill that hunger by going from thing to thing from 8 am until 12 am almost every day. You can't fill that hunger by partying, drinking or smoking, romantic relationships, or anything else you turn to. You can't fill that hunger by scrolling for hours on social media. You can't even fill that hunger through engaging in all the "good things" like worship nights, prayer nights, or outreaches. Those "good things" may be a way to engage with the one who can indeed satisfy the hunger, but the way you can fill that hunger is by a deep and growing relationship with Jesus Christ. Jesus is the one who can satisfy our every need. There are good things and not-so-good things that people try to satisfy their hunger with, but our souls and our hearts have an eternal need that needs an eternal God. Our God is eternal and he can fill the longings of our hearts. 

    Colossians 2 talks about the spiritual fullness of Christ and the spiritual fullness we are brought into. I think that fullness is a desire our hearts have that they are forever seeking when Christ is not at the center of our hearts and our lives. Psalm 42 is a psalm I have been meditating on lately "as the deer pants for streams of water, my soul longs after you, My God". I also think of the Living Water that Jesus talks about when talking with the woman at the well. The living water that does satisfy our needs. Our souls are in need of God, so how are we going to let God love us? 

    Take a moment to reflect. Is there a void in your heart that you are trying to fill? Is there something just there that has made your soul weary to the point where numbing and distracting have become your way of coping?

    The truth is that making memories in college is important. Having friends in college is important. God created us for the community, he has created us to work hard, and he has created us to rest. We need all these things and we can't be afraid of them. Some people are afraid to get out there and find their community. That can be isolating and hard to deal with. I understand it can be scary and hard to get involved. I did keep to myself so much as a kid. Some people are also afraid of solitude and rest. They want to be constantly doing something. That is me now honestly. I want to finish my time in college having fun, but I realize my need to rest. 

FOMO is a real struggle, but our God is a real God.