Change in Friendships

     Friendships are beautiful, a deep blessing. As a kid, I loved the few friends I had. I felt content with being alone most of the time, but I really loved the few friends I made. Middle school came, and that is when friendship struggles really began. I am someone who still deeply values my friendships, but I realize that most of my friendships have changed over time. God gives us friends to do life with and I definitely have 

The Right Crowd? 

    Middle school and high school were both challenging times for finding friends. I did not really care about finding friends who really loved the Lord in middle school. I just stuck with people on the same sports team as me. I wanted to fit in, but I always felt that I never really fit into any group. I started to not really appreciate what I was seeing in the group I was a part of, so I started sitting with other groups of people. In high school, we all went our separate ways as well. Eventually, I found my best friend who I still am best friends with to this day. 

    The first couple years of high school, I just got closer to my best friend. We carried one another through very difficult things. Through this friend, I was inspired to go deeper in my faith. I deeply love her. In my junior year, she ended up going to a different school, and I had to navigate not having her with me throughout the school day anymore. I slowly started getting involved with another group. I did not feel supported through my junior year of high school when I was going through hard things. I began to distance myself from that group and then COVID happened which was more of a lonely time in my life. 

The Pain of Growing Distant

    It is painful to realize that there are just some friendships with people that I love very deeply growing distant. It might be life circumstances or us trying to figure stuff out in our own identities and faith. I do wonder what happened to us, and I often tend to blame myself. When I started college, I was in an unhealthy place and it might have been hard on them. I often believe that it is my fault for why some of my friendships have grown apart. I also realize that sometimes it just happens. We hang out with different people and we stop seeing each other as much. I still feel like it is my fault though. I struggle with confronting often feeling like there is a challenge in making time for these conversations. There is so much pain as I do deeply care for these people and I really want to know what is going on. 

    I know that God brings people into our lives for a reason. Navigating people not being there as much can be so hard. I have dealt with this every year of college. I have learned that continuing to pursue these relationships will continue to leave me feeling like a burden and like I am unwanted. I can still care about the person, but I need to put up a boundary of acceptance. Acceptance allows us to move on from a friendship that we have grown a part in. Acceptance requires us to turn our eyes to Jesus and realize that he is sovereign over every friendship. We can pray he works in their hearts, blesses their lives, and provides a community for us. We can still even talk to them and delight in seeing the person; however, we have to accept that things may be different than how they were before. 

Changes in Friendships

    At the beginning of this school year, my biggest fear was that I would feel alone. Living in a new dorm was very nerve-wracking for me. I was used to living in a pretty lively place, so living in a quieter setting just made me nervous. Would I find community even in an apartment? It turns out I really do love living in the apartments. I have amazing roommates who I enjoy living with and I know I can still participate in the community. I am noticing changes in my friendships, but I am starting to grow comfortable with those changes. I am realizing that I have limited energy and time that I can spend with people. I realize that FOMO is something that Jesus is helping me to overcome and that by overcoming it I can value the time I spend in the present. I have learned through the first few weeks of school that time spent in the presence of the Lord and in fellowship is the most amazing and filling thing, and that I don't need to fear missing out when I am in the presence of the King. Friendships are changing, and that is ok because God is a constant in our lives. 

Friendship

    Friendships are supposed to be joy-filled. You should be supporting each other, laughing together, sharing good times and bad times, and not feeling like you need to put all the work in. I mean there will be seasons where one friend might be doing more than the other as we all go through really hard times in life. A good friendship has the Lord as a firm foundation. Every friend I have had in college is a child of God. They are made in the image of God and they have their own special gifts. I love the friends who I am close with today and I love those who have grown apart.