In The Throne Room

    Lately, I have been imagining and thinking about the throne room. As I am still learning scripture, this amazing picture of the throne room is painted in the book of Revelation. I sit trying to imagine the throne room and know that in my human brain, I simply can't grasp an image of what the throne room of God truly is. I can be like a child imagining the glory of God in the heavenly realm, I can imagine the beauty of the environment of the throne room, and I can imagine the worship and praise. I can sit in the presence of God with the Holy Spirit dwelling in me. I am a child of God, and my way to eternity is Jesus. The throne room is a place of beauty. 

    The throne room is a special place where we can go to seek Jesus now, but it is also where our eternity awaits us. Spending time with Jesus is supposed to be a Monday through Saturday thing just as much as it is a Sunday morning thing. I will be honest when I say that there are times in my life (actually right now to be honest) where I have gone days without my quiet time with Jesus. It is not always easy, and I have been in a season of deep grief. I have felt this major resistance against spending alone time with Jesus, but also just getting up, going to classes and going to work most days. My encouragement if you are in that season like me is from scripture and it is that the joy of the Lord is our strength. I am not saying happiness or laughter, I am saying joy. Joy is a state of being when we live our lives with God, and not a temporary emotion. I will talk about later how I think that lamenting can be a form of worship because it is recognizing God even in a challenging situation. 

The Throne Room- God's Judgement

    God's judgment is something that I feel is rarely talked about in church. When the Great Tribulation is talked about in the book of Revelation and the judgment outlined through Revelation, I think it really allows for readers and those who study Revelation to get a sense of what we were in for alone without Jesus. Here is the deal, we will certainly still struggle through this life, but what we have with Jesus is a sacrifice. Jesus sacrificed himself in place of us, taking on the full wrath of God. I always think that we need to understand the wrath of God to truly grasp the love of God. Our sin, every single person reading this and myself's sin no matter how small or big is seems, is deserving of God's wrath. Our sin separated us from God, and our destiny WAS death. This might scare people, and this is honestly a very important message. The wages of our sin is death, every single sin that seems big or small in our human minds. To God, sin is sin and it breaks his heart. Now, I am going to get to the good part: God knew that we could never live up to his standards. He knew that we would fall short, and knowing this he sent his son Jesus whom he loved so much. Jesus died for our sins. His blood washed us clean, and the only thing that we need to do is trust in God with all of our hearts and follow him. Jesus is the WAY to eternal life with God. The wrath of God coming down on Jesus to where he said "It is finished" is the same wrath talked about in Revelation, it is just that Jesus took our place. The wrath was such a heavy thing for Jesus, yet he took it on so we could be with God. 

    At the end of our lives on judgment day, when we stand before God, we could try to bring up the good we have done in our lives. We can try to get the good to outweigh the bad we have done. However, God will know if we spend our lives chasing vanity and never going on the path of Jesus. He will know if we have a relationship with him.  The thing is that our eternal life is not granted based on the good we have done, but it is gifted to us out of what Jesus had done. If we confess our belief in Jesus and we follow him, we will enter into eternity. 

The Throne Room- The Lamb of God

    When I think of a Lamb, I think of vulnerability to suffering. When I see the Lamb of God in my mind having eyes of fire and hair like wool. I imagine the Eyes of fire to be the passion God has for his children. When God looks at you, he looks at you with such a lens of love. When I was a kid, someone would look at me with disgust or anger in their eyes. My sweet, sensitive, and compassionate self would want to do anything to get them to look at me with love in their eyes. Jesus is not like that. Jesus is not one to look at us with disgust because we did not read our Bible today. I often struggle with feeling like God is disappointed in me because I did not live up to the standard I placed on myself. I have realized in my season of grief that God is literally running after me. This is because God literally looks at us with passion and love. When we give our lives to Jesus, God looks at us through the lens of sacrificial love. This is not a love that needs to be earned by reading the bible enough, sharing our testimony ten times a week, and praying for an hour every day. As much as those are good things, God wants less our good deeds, and more our heart to be for him and be connected with him. That is why he became the vulnerable sacrificial lamb that was the only one worthy to open up the scroll. He knew we would fall short of the law, he knew we needed a savior. 

    The hair like wool, I imagine being almost like a stuffed animal. That seems very childish right? But, as children of God sometimes we need comfort. When I was little, I had one stuffed animal that provided me comfort that I carried around everywhere. I know that God is a God of providing comfort in difficult situations. He does not expect us to "just get over it already". I have been going through grief lately and I have been heartbroken. I feel so weary lately, and this season has felt stagnant in my relationship with God. I am going to admit that I am just tired and I am sad. I lay down every day having to force myself to get up. When I have been in worship the past few weeks, I have felt these chills go through my body. When I was a kid, I described these chills as a hug from an angel. I know in scripture how it says "God is close to the broken hearted". I believe these chills are physical sensations of the holy spirit. I believe God moves whether you feel it or you don't. I have definitely been through seasons where I have felt nothing from God, but lately these chills just thinking of God have literally made me feel like God is running after me and is pursuing me. 

The Throne Room- A Place of Worship

    "Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God almighty who was and is and is to come"

    I remember singing these words growing up. I loved the song Revelation Song, and we would sing it at our small Saturday night home church. I wanted to just belt out this song as a kid, and I can imagine what heaven is like with praise like that 24-7, 365, or what even is time to God? The Throne room is not just where the throne is set up, but it is where the King of kings can be worshipped. What is worship? it is more than just a song sang on Sunday, but it is an eternal awe and reverence of our Lord. Worship is praise but it can also be lamenting. Maybe people think of worship as just jumping up and down, but I see worship as seeing the beauty in the life God is giving me. I know I have fallen into this struggle, but sometimes I am like the Israelites. I look around and I see fear in a situation rather than God in a situation. I ask myself "How will I provide?" rather than declaring "GOD WILL PROVIDE". I say to myself "I feel so sad about this situation and I feel so alone sometimes" rather than recognizing that the King of Glory sits right next to me. I don't want to be like the Israelites on the way to the promised land complaining of the food I desire, but I rather trust that God will provide what my soul and body will need. Yet I sit and I worry, and I forget to turn my worry into prayers. I forget to turn my eyes on Jesus. 

    I think of lamenting as worship in this sinful and fallen world because in a place of deep sorrow, we can still see the beauty of God. When I was 10 years old going through the worst of the abuse, I remember just weeping literally so terrified of what was being done. I wanted my life to end, at least that life of constantly being afraid. I remember crying my eyes out, but I remember just thinking to myself "God will get me through this". I realize I could take a lesson now from my 10-year-old self, even though at the same time my heart breaks for my 10-year-old self; the lesson is that no matter how bad things get, God will always get us through the things we go through. We can spend our lives wondering "Why would God put me through this" or we can spend our lives believing that no matter what we go through, God will be with us in the valleys or on the mountains. Also, realize how vast the valleys are in comparison to the mountains. I feel like that imagery allows us to understand that there will be a few times in life when we may understand and get a full glimpse of what God is doing, but God created the mountains and the valleys in this way so we can trust in him no matter what. Lamenting recognizes God in our place of sorrow and suffering for who he is. That is also why scripture says in Matthew 11 "Come to me all you who are weary" because we can know God as the one to go to. 

    I believe praise is definitely what occurs in the throne room of God constantly. This is because what God did for us was not erase pain and suffering from this life, but he allowed for freedom for our eternity. The throne room is where we can go in praise of God. We need to recognize our need for God. Every ounce of our being needs Jesus in our lives. God breathes breath into our lungs every day. 

The Throne Room- Bowing Down Before the Lord

    As a kid, I always thought it was the weirdest thing to see people in worship just bowing down. I started out in a Reformed Church that sing hymns and went strictly according to a bulletin. I still very much treasure hymns as they have so much truth in them and they are just beautiful. I also see the beauty of bowing before the Lord now. I think of bowing to get low before the Lord. When I think of elders, I think of people who are either very wise or so much older than I am. We were always told to "respect your elders" growing up. I also know that elders played a very significant role in my church growing up. Two different things kind of, but both my grandparents and the elders of my church were highly respected. This is the same in the biblical churches. The throne room paints a very different picture of elders in Revelation. Reading about the elders falling down on their knees makes me think of what I would do in the presence of God. Bowing down allows us to let go of any status, any pride, any expectation, and just lay into God. It allows for us to let go of any glory we try to paint ourselves in, and we instead just allow for God to reveal his glory. 

    

    

    There is so much more to the throne room that I am exploring and learning. I pray that in whatever way, you will enter into quiet time with God through every day. Our time with God is so special and it is important to spend time with God. Have a blessed week and thank you for spending time reading my blog. There is certainly more to come as the Lord reveals new things. 

Remember JESUS LOVES YOU! John 3:16