Forgiveness

     While I was at work the other day, I was left to myself to think. I was thinking about forgiveness. Now, forgiveness is something that has been expected of people, especially Christians as the Bible tells us to forgive 77 times. Forgiveness I realize is a challenge for people, including myself. I sometimes struggle to forgive others, and there are so many times when I struggle to forgive myself. 

   In my life, so much of what I went through has brought up so much I have had to forgive people for. In high school, I was so angry, and it can be easy to fall back into the struggle of unforgiveness. Recently, it has been challenging, so as I was thinking through forgiveness, I realized some important things.

1. It is God who gives us the ability to forgive. God is love, and love keeps no records of wrong according to 1 Corinthians 13. I in my own strength and flesh can't forgive others the way it is expected of me. God gives us the complete ability to forgive, and it is up to us to accept his gift of grace for our sins, and to walk in his ways. It does take intentionally seeking after God every day. Through seeking God in our everyday, we can step into the joy of a life with him that includes forgiveness. 

2. God needs to do his work in us. I am not perfect, and nobody is. We live in a society that wants so badly to prove "I am right and you are wrong". I have seen this everywhere. We want so badly to be right that we completely disregard the experiences of the people around us. We forget to realize that sometimes we might just be wrong, and it is ok to admit that we are wrong. We want so badly to be right that we try to keep up looking like we live a perfect life. How about we stop and understand that it is so much pressure to have everything together all the time? It is so much pressure to try to prove ourselves right to everyone around us. We need to trust that where we struggle, Jesus is already allowing a plan to fall into place. In the life of Jesus, he never disregarded the lives of the people who followed him. Jesus saw them for who they were and loved them. Therefore in regards to forgiveness we need to understand when we are wrong, and show grace when others do something wrong as Jesus did countless times through scripture. 

3. God is the perfect judger and the perfect giver of mercy. When someone hurts you so bad that you are affected by the pain they inflicted on you for a very long time, it can be hard to forgive that person. I think people often see things from the perspective of this side of eternity and what we as humans have the capacity to understand. People tend to fall into bitterness and gossip in situations where they are unforgiving of a person. There have been times in my life that I have been deeply hurt by the actions of the people around me. In fact the pain still comes up today as it was pain inflicted on me continously. I could choose two ways to approach the situation: I could live my life angry at the people who hurt me or I could bring that anger, which is valid, to God. Again, the pain, the anger, the sadness is all so valid, and should be felt. It should not be felt in isolation where it can build up. God has not only given us his presence but the people around us. It is important to remember that if you spend your whole life angry at someone, you are not giving that person up to God who has the perfect amount of judgement and the perfect amount of mercy for each individual. 

4. Jesus is the ultimate example of forgiveness. "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they have done". Jesus said this right before he was about to die. He said this in regards to those he knew betrayed him, and he knew he was going to be killed. There had to be the experience of emotional pain as he looked around to see what was before him, but despite having that pain, he turned to forgiveness. Not only did he speak out forgiveness, but he showed compassion in the midst of his forgiveness. Compassion for those who hurt us can bring into perspective what they must be going through or have gone through in order for them to hurt us. No one besides Jesus is perfect at remembering that people in their wrongdoing must have pain as well. It doesn't give the excuse for anyone to hurt us, again tying back that God is the perfect Judge, but it does give perspective that we only know so much about the people around us. 

    I am learning that prayer is so essential in our walk with God through life. My passage I am really focusing on this year is Ephesians 6 which talks about putting on the Armor of God and how important prayer is in fighting against the schemes of the enemy. Prayer over forgiveness is so important in truly forgiving a person. Where I fall short in forgiving, God can lead me to have a more forgiving and compassionate heart for those who have hurt me. Unforgiveness can truly be something that can negatively benefit you and take away from a life of joy. There should be no shame if what someone did still effects you, but remember that God wants you to come to him to be in his gentleness when you are struggling.