The Loss
Hair. My hair and her hair were a point of connection my mom and I had for years. I was her only daughter, and she would run her fingers through my hair, would braid it, would flat iron it, and we would always play with each other's hair. I would braid hers, try to do different things with it, and brush it. Now I twirl my hair on my fingers, missing the touch of her hands in the only activity I really remember us doing one-on-one together. When I was little, I did not always want to do her hair, but now I do miss that time. I miss doing her hair. I was always told, “Your mom loves you, she just doesn’t know how to show it”, and I believe that is true. When I decided to cut contact with my biological mom, it became a decision I have to make every day. Some days that decision is harder than others. We live in a world that responds in multiple ways to a child who has had to make this choice. Two of the ways that I have heard and said to myself a lot includ...