Deeply Rooted

     I got to fix this and that about myself. I felt like every part of who I was got nitpicked as I was growing up. I could never live up to expectations, and if I did, I felt even then that I could have done better. I never felt truly happy about anything I achieved. I kept reaching, and maybe I would reach that goal, but then I felt apathy towards myself once I did reach it. I felt I was reaching for wind, and the breeze would quickly go from the grasps of my hands. I developed a long list of ways I was wrong and could never be enough. A door for me represents what I have hidden my pain behind for so long. I felt no one could possibly be there for me, that I had to be my own surgeon. I had to fix myself, but I had no doctoral knowledge of the soul. I fell into the coping through distraction for years. No one could ever know that deep down, my pain was so consuming until one day when my door opened.      It was at a worship event during my freshman year o...

     This might be a deep one. When it comes to the formation of our souls, I think it is more complex than a formula or a list of rules to follow. It is more complex than reading the Bible for an hour every day, praying a certain amount, and being the "good" Christian you are meant to be. Is there really a formula we need to follow to be a "good enough" Christian? How do we do this faith thing "good enough"?      There was a time when I felt like I was having a slight faith crisis in my time in college. Throughout college, I have been hit with some hard faith questions. Do I even believe in God? (Mostly was asked during my freshman year), and how do I do this faith thing right? (Asked during my sophomore year). This was followed by a hard season of grief and feeling as if God was disappointed in me during my Junior year. In this blog, I am going to zero in on the question asked during my sophomore year "How do I do this faith thing right?" This ...